Well it was a crazy first five games in the playoffs, and there’s still two more big games to come. There was the requisite upset, close games, and a lot of fun on the field and with the grill. If the finals are anything like this week, we’re in for a more raucous time than an OKC Zombie Sonics crowd and an orgy in the grotto at the playboy mansion combined.
Quarterfinals:
Game 1: (6) Pumped Up Kicks def. (3) The Ron Mexicos
We got the upset early in our very first Wednesday game. These two rivals did not disappoint, but it was Pumped Up Kicks, coming in with more momentum than Russell Westbrook driving the lane, that pulled it off. Impressive to say the least. Now it’s another tough match-up against the defending champions. Can this Cinderella story come through? They’ll have to do it against CPR, followed immediately by the Undisputed, Undefeated Kickball Juggernaut that is Fuck Bitches Get Money.
Game 2: (1) FBGM def. (8) No Bats All Balls
A forfeit? In the playoffs? It’s a sad day in Beehive history, but let’s face it, everybody needs a summer vacation. If people want to take it on the second most important week of the year, so be it. FBGM would’ve won with more authority than a Serge Ibaka block. I’d stake my dubious reputation on it.
Game 3: (2) Certified Puppy Rescuers def. (7) The Degenerates
My prediction on this game was about as wrong as an ESPN analyst trying to predict a hockey game. Ouch. CPR certainly proved me wrong on this one. You rarely see a blowout in the playoffs, and The Degenerates were certainly a strong 7 seed. But that’s what champions do, the win and advance. It may not have been a good year for champs this year like the Bruins, Penguins, Red Wings, Lakers, Spurs, Mavericks, and Celtics, but I’ve got a good feeling about CPR. They’ve got the pure strength of will of the Germans.
Game 4: (4) Drinkers with a Kicking Problem def. (5) The Lone Rangers
I hope you’ll be watching ESPN this week, cuz this one was an instant classic. Back and forth they went, and the Lone Rangers looked like they had it in the bag up one in the final inning. But just like that, Drinkers came through and took the lead late and hung on for the win. It was as competitive as an NBA finals game and that was with The Lone Rangers playing 2 men down the whole game. Both Dave Charboneau and Casey Glaubman had big days on the mound, but in the end, someone has to win. Congrats to the Drinkers on a hard fought victory.
Semifinals:
Game 1: (1) FBGM def. (4) Drinkers with a Kicking Problem
Coming off a big win against the Lone Rangers, The Drinkers had high hopes, and hung in very well against the undefeated FBGM. But ultimately, skill one out. FBGM employed their classic rock them to sleep them strangle them in their crib as they racked up the base hits and rounded the bases late to leave no doubt about the outcome. It was clinical. FBGM winning it all seems all but a formality at this point, I better start engraving the belt for ‘em.
Game 2: (2) Certified Puppy Rescuers vs. (6) Pumped Up Kicks
Once again, the two rivals square off. It’s the defending Kickball Champs against the Dodgeball Runners Up. Oh, you know it’s gunna be closer than the NBA Finals have been.
Finals:
(1) FBGM vs. CPR/Pumped up Kicks
Only one thing to say about the championship game. That’s right, I’m busting out the Big Blue, Ice Cold, No Doubt, Money in the Bank Lock of the Week!!!!! pick for my bold prediction: FBGM over CPR.
Well those are my picks CPR over Pumped Up Kicks, and FBGM taking down anyone and everyone they face. If you think something different, let me know. As always, to those I picked against, prove me wrong!