And then there was one. One game to go, one unbeaten team left standing, one chance to change your fortunes, or confirm your place in the playoffs. It’s a huge week and a lot will be determined by this final slate of games. The real question is, with the weather cooling down a bit for our final week, who will remember to bring the heat… and the grill.
Big Blue, Ice Cold, No Doubt, Money in the Bank Lock of the Week!!!!! pick: The Ron Mexicos over The Lone Rangers
On Notice: Drinkers With a Kicking Problem
1. FBGM 6-0
Well there was a lot of turnover this week, but one thing was never in doubt: FBGM. Enough said. Drops mic. Walks away. Seriously though, I’m running out to superlatives to laud FBGM with. Good job, keep having fun out there and whatever you’re doing, you’re doing it right. Don’t go changin’.
2. Certified Puppy Rescuers 4-2
CPR is peaking at the right time. Allen did a flawless Yu Darvish impersonation to quiet the six guns of the Lone Rangers with a key strikeout of Chris. The leather was flashing all night and once again, CPR jumped out to an early lead and cruised to the win. Can these defending champions climb back to the 2nd seed? They don’t control their own destiny, but a win means a chance. Will they pull of the comeback?
3. Pumped Up Kicks 4-3
It was an epic night for Pumped Up Kicks. In a few short hours, they turned a season slipping away into a winning year and stole the moniker “The team nobody wants to play” in dramatic fashion. First, it was the heavy drinking but up and coming Degenerates, who couldn’t generate any offense against the mean curveball of Joe Williams. Then, they knocked off one of only two remaining unbeaten as the leather was flashing in the outfield brighter than the ice on my chain in the club. And just like that, they’re in the clubhouse waiting on the rest of the league to finish. They’ll be at least a 5 seed, but they’ll have to wait and see for their final standings. It’s a good place to be.
4. The Ron Mexico’s 4-1-1
And just like that, Ron Mexico gets burned. They finally got a taste of what they’d been doing to teams all year as Pumped Up Kicks jumped on them early and held on for the victory. Their first loss of the year has put their seeding in as much doubt as my sanity watching my beloved Devils getting destroyed by the Kings. A win guarantees them the 2nd seed, but anything less puts their seeding in doubt. We’ve seen plenty of good from this powerhouse, and at their best they’re still the second best team in the league. But they are winless in the last 2 weeks and facing That Masked Man. Can they rally together to win and come in as the 2nd seed? Are they the OKC Thunder, or are they the Devils? We’ll see next week.
5. The Degenerates 3-4
You’d think playing back to back games would be a tough, but the Degenerates showed the stamina of a young Ron Jeremy and got stronger and stronger toward a huge climax in their win over Drinkers with a kicking problem. They may have started slow this year, but much like this week, they showed they’ve got what it takes to do some damage in the postseason. And in the clubhouse waiting for your opponent is always a good place to be. With a losing record, they could finish anywhere, so sit back, relax, and get your popcorn ready.
6. Drinkers with a Kicking Problem 2-2-2
I guess I should expect this by now: the Drinkers are consistently inconsistent… if that makes any sense. It’s like the NBA Draft lottery. We all know it’s gunna end the same way, but there are always some curveballs along the way to try and give the idea that this time, it might end differently. Well, here we go again. They’re good, they can beat anybody in the league, but I just have this feeling they’re like the Memphis Grizzlies. Lot’s of potential with no payoff. That’s why I’m putting them On Notice. Prove me wrong!
7. The Lone Rangers 3-2-1
Oh how the mighty have fallen. The Lone Rangers are looking more like Brendan Frasier and Adam Sandler in that crappy movie Airheads than the gunfighter for truth and justice. They are officially in free-fall and with The Ron Mexico’s up next looking to solidify the 2 seed, it may get worse before it gets better. But every good western has a time of troubles before the hero emerges and pulls off the inconceivable. Will the Lone Rangers probe to be the conquering heros, or will they prove themselves to just be another but who gets shot down by the champion gunfighter?
8. No Bats All Balls 1-5
I always savor this: You proved me wrong. Today they are truly All Balls as they came through and pulled off a big upset of 2 Legit. Nobody thought they could do it after 2 Legit got their first win and seemed to be rolling down the stretch hot. But all that is forgotten now. All Balls got their first win of the year and while they may still be near the bottom of the league, they’re rocking some serious cantaloupes down there.
9. 2 Legit 2 Kick 1-5
Just when you thought they had it figured out, the kicking goes as silent as Albert Pujols’ bat and they fall to the last winless team. It was an unfortunate loss for 2 Legit as a 1-6 record is as certain as the NBA rigging the draft to give the Hornets the first overall pick. We all know it happened. Just remember to have fun against FBGM and live it up for the final week of the regular season. You may be seeing them again soon.
10. Sit On My Base 1-5
Well it was a tough week against FBGM on the field. But it was a lot of fun and we know they got that sick flow that won the half time game. It doesn’t get easier next week against CPR, but I believe in miracles! Did anyone think the US could be the Russians in ’86? Did anyone think the Thunder could win 3 straight against the Spurs? Did anyone think Justin Timberlake could become a likable figure?